Factory Settings: Returning to Light and Love

When anxiety creeps in, it shows up in my body through rushing thoughts that go a million miles an hour and don’t seem to offer many answers, only questions and tasks that pile up like laundry in a locker room. Whenever I open the window to the world through social media, it not only intrudes upon my day as the perfect dopamine drip sneaks up on me, but it also does something far more pervasive; it shows me how powerless I am to the gamut of atrocities happening in the world.

So I have made my world smaller, not as a selfish act, but as a safeguard so I can operate in my life as a mother, business owner, leader, teacher, and partner without the buffering of world events reminding me how much I cannot change. The truth is, we can only control our environment and our own energetic field, and that in and of itself is an accomplishment.

So I have deleted Facebook and parental-controlled TikTok, like I do for my child, because when I can sit with my thoughts and they are not layered in rage and spiraling emotions, I can breathe deeper, accomplish things around my life, and bring back a sense of joy and positive impact within the areas I can control.

ADHD is likely present within me as an undiagnosed aspect of my life. I cannot remember a time I did not need stimuli in order to focus, but I can certainly remember life being easier to cope with when I didn’t have a world viewer in my hands showing me all the things I cannot change.

In 12-step programs such as AA and NA, you learn the Serenity Prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Alcohol and drugs are not my addiction, but phones have made us all addicts. The issue for me is not only the time allocated to it that runs down my fingers, but the incredible sense of anxiety that comes from trying to process all that is happening in the world.

So for now, what I can control is what I focus on, and that list is very small. I can control my reaction to the world, and I can control how much of it I intake before I need time to process.

The journey inward is challenging enough. Keeping our thoughts aligned with our highest self demands focus.

So what it looks like for me to shrink my world is to filter out the noise, literally reduce my social media and phone time down to 1992 standards, and ask myself what I need and what I can do to support myself and those around me. The to-do lists will not disappear, and that is a part of this 3D existence, but celebrating the small wins that are within my reach is important.

At my dance studio, my role has evolved over the past two decades. I went from a one-woman show to a team of twelve who don’t really need me for most things. But when I do spend time there during the busy nights, I understand my role is in holding up the frequency of the energy of the place, and I do that through intentional exchanges, a smile, and a heart open to serving.

So next time you catch yourself anxious, afraid, or enraged by the world out there, take a pause. Put your phone down, take a breath, ask yourself what you need in that moment, and then, once the proverbial oxygen mask is safely secured on yourself, ask what is one thing you can do for another. Then look up, open your heart, and watch anxiety give space to joy and peace once again. That is your original, factory state. The rest is distortion and distraction. Remember who you are; you are light and love.