Why “What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?” Is the Wrong Question

By Carolina Bucker, Creator of IGNITE | Elevate Coaching

We’ve all asked it. We’ve all been asked it. That classic, well-meaning question:

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

It’s one of the first ways we start talking to kids about the future. And it comes from a good place—a place of curiosity, encouragement, and hope.

But here’s the truth: This question is outdated. It’s too small for the world we live in today. And worse, it can put unnecessary pressure on young people to define themselves by a job title before they’ve even had a chance to explore who they really are.

❌ What’s Wrong with the Question?

This question implies that:

• Our career is our identity.

• We should have it all figured out early.

• There’s one “right” path to follow.

• Success equals productivity and profession.

  
  

But the world has changed.

The economy is shifting. AI is reshaping the job market. The concept of stability looks different. And most importantly, young people are craving purpose, freedom, and authenticity—not just a paycheck.

Today’s teens aren’t just looking for what to do. They’re trying to figure out who they are—and where they fit in a world that’s moving fast.

✅ The Better Questions We Should Be Asking

Instead of narrowing their identity to a future title, let’s give teens space to ask questions that actually shape a meaningful life.

Here are some better ones:

• Who do you want to become?

• What kind of life do you want to build?

• What are your natural gifts—and how do you love using them?

• What lights you up? What drains you?

• What kind of problems are you passionate about solving?

• What kind of relationships and environment help you thrive?

• How do you want to feel when you wake up each day?

  
  

These questions spark curiosity, not pressure.They point teens back to who they are, not who they’re expected to be.They open the door to alignment, not anxiety.

🔥 This Is Why I Created IGNITE

Ignite is not a career prep program. It’s not a test to determine a teen’s future. It’s a journey inward—an experience that invites them to:

✨ Discover who they are at their core✨ Understand how they’re uniquely wired to make decisions✨ Break through limiting beliefs passed down by culture, family, and fear✨ Build a vision for a life that feels aligned, expansive, and fulfilling

We use powerful tools like Human Design, Robbins-Madanes coaching, and hypnosis to help teens access a deeper level of self-awareness and clarity—not just for their future, but for their now.

Because the truth is, the teens of today are the leaders, creators, and visionaries of tomorrow. And they don’t need a box. They need tools, questions, and guidance that help them build something real.

🛍️ Ready to Flip the Script?

Let’s stop preparing our teens for the world as it was—and start preparing them for the world as it is. Let’s help them grow into their power—not just their roles. Let’s guide them into lives of purpose, not pressure.

The future belongs to those who dare to dream differently. Let’s start there.

– Carolina

Let’s Work Together