Why Bother Healing? Ep. 1 | Elevate with Carolina

Elevate with Carolina — Episode 1 Why Bother Healing?

Healing has been the greatest investment of time and resources of my life. Why bother healing? Because not bothering with it comes with a much higher cost.

It was the first ayahuasca ceremony in Costa Rica, 2024… no, let’s rewind… it was Christmas season 2023. I was folding laundry in the house I can only describe as a mutual manifestation that had everything we had envisioned: on the river, 3 bedrooms, a cozy feel, and most importantly, our blended family of 4 girls, a golden doodle, and the man I thought was the love of my life.

On this random day, I can’t remember what sparked the conversation, but my ex-fiancé and I were speaking in hypotheticals that seemed lifetimes away in a future that would never happen: “What would we do if the other person were not there?” To which I said I’d be so devastated I’d have to find healing in a deep, remote area somewhere with ayahuasca shamans, and be there until I could face humanity again. I remember him looking surprised and saying something to the tune of, “Huh, you actually have thought about this?” I laughed because it just came to me. Not having him in my life seemed like a thought I never wanted to entertain. But life had different plans.

Fast forward to March, it all came crumbling down fast, and it was over in a matter of days. I found myself moving right back to an apartment I never imagined returning to, and now, a year later, it all seems like a parallel reality I got jolted out of.

I did, in fact, go to see shamans and sit with ayahuasca as a part of my healing journey, though.

Costa Rica, summer of 2024.

It was the first night, and we were to write down all the questions we wanted answered before we went in for the ceremony. Oh, I had pages!

And at the top was, “What is a part of my purpose that I’m not yet living?” As a dance teacher who is passionate about creating, I have lived a purpose-filled life for many years… but I knew there was much more I had not yet tapped into. My voice being one of the areas I’ve wanted to expand.

On that first ceremony, I had the most beautiful experience, right after vomiting my guts out in a glorious and reliable bucket. It’s all like a vivid guided dream, and I clearly saw myself as the host of a podcast. This may seem like a no-brainer for many people, but I have always been someone who could dance in front of packed audiences; however, speaking came with more blockages that needed clearing before I could do it.

Perfectionism, which hides the feeling of not being enough, being the first hurdle. So for the last 2 years, I’ve shelved the podcast idea. I finished my psychology degree, became a certified hypnotherapist and QHHT practitioner, and became Reiki certified. I found a location for my office, remodeled it, and created a space dedicated to my podcast that I had zero episodes planned for.

Then, in meditation, the moment came. I had no more excuses. It was time to allow myself the gift of sucking at something new again. The gift of being a beginner.

So, as you listen to my first episode, you will see that the first couple of minutes were me reading from my paper that I rewrote 10 times, as the message was in my heart, but I still feared speaking. Then I warm up to the mic, and the paper was not in sight anymore… I could have re-recorded it, but I wanted to remember that the process is the gift. The journey is the destination. We never “get there”; we only grow and get better. So here is my first episode of a series I already have 35 other episodes written for.

Healing has been the greatest investment of time and resources of my life. Why bother healing? Because not bothering with it comes with a much higher cost.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-ebfwxOGcE